Tips on achieving multiple orgasms

**Q*** : Can you please write something on achieving multiple orgasms??? I find that after oral, when I have an orgasm, it’s over. I am over-sensitive and ticklish. Tips please?

A: The medical establishment now recognizes that multiple orgasms are possible, and not just porn flick mythology. According to Barbara Bartlik, MD, at Weill Medical College, all women capable of achieving orgasms are capable of achieving multiple orgasms.

That said, the ability to have multiple orgasms is learned — in much the same way we learn to get that first one. And once you’ve done the hard work of getting the first one, the others are easier.

How do I know this? Well, I learned about multiple orgasms through the forced orgasm kink. I had a wonderfully sensual Dominant partner who tied me up and made me come over and over again, ignoring my begging and screaming for him to stop. After an hour I’d come a dozen times and was completely wrung out. I was limp, my body occasionally rippled with post-orgasmic jolts, and I was incapable of speaking coherently. Sounds great, right? Yes and no. I didn’t want to give up control of my clit, so someone had to take it from me. And for someone naturally dominant, it was akin to torture. After that breakthrough, however, I got it and never lost it. Having multiple orgasms is sort of like riding a bicycle.

So… tips on achieving multiple orgasms:

1) On the physical side, in order to achieve additional orgasms, you must press past the sensitivity and languidness that you feel after your initial one. I know how excruciatingly sensitive your clit is after coming, but you, or you partner, needs to keep going, to keep the arousal level up. You don’t necessarily have to keep stimulating the clitoris immediately afterwards. I have been known to climb up the headboard to avoid direct clitoral stimulation after coming (which is where being tied up can come in handy :) Instead, you can back off of it and focus on other errogenous zones, but within a couple of minutes, you must return to the clit, preferably with a vibrator of some sort. Fingers or a dildo applying hard and fast direct pressure to the G-Spot while the clitoris is stimulated will make a woman come, and can make us squirt, too :) Just make sure you have lots of lubrication, preferably your own. Orgasms have half-lifes. What I mean by that is this: if it takes you 20 minutes for your first one, it make take 10 for the second, and 5 for the third, and then eventually, they just come hard and fast one after the other until the stimulation ends or you are completely exhausted. Eventually, for some women, the toys aren’t necessary. Many of us have trained ourselves to come on demand. It is a mental ‘trick’ of sorts — like a button that rises up when we are sufficiently aroused, and that we can push whenever we want.

2) On the mental/emotional side, the only way you are going to be able to have multiple orgasms is if you are completely open to it. You must trust yourself and your partner, and you must relax into it. The wrong kinds of stress or attention to the topic will simply distract you. You need to push your mind and the critical little voice in your head that says “my inner thighs are too fat I wish he wouldn’t caress them” etc, ASIDE. Your partner thinks you are beautiful and desirable or he or she wouldn’t be there. Your body is a sensory array. Allow yourself to feel with it. Let go and lose yourself in the pure sensuality of the moment. It is a gift to yourself and your partner.

3) Readiness and Build-up. This is what must come first, really, but I mention it last because it is more detailed:

Make sure you are rested. If your body is too tired, too stressed, or your mind too active, you will have a difficult time climaxing once, never mind several times.

In order for you to have good strong multiple orgasms, you need to have good, strong pubococcygeus muscles (PC). You can find Kegel exercises online that describe how to work the PC muscles in the pelvis — the exercise is a lot like ‘holding it’ when you have to pee. I do my Kegels all the time — when I’m driving, standing in line, laying in bed, etc. A secondary effect of these exercises is arousal. I tend to get hard nipples and wet panties when I do my kegels, and since I do them all the time, well… I’m almost always aroused. I can even come just from doing those exercises, if I want to, but I usually hold off. I let the arousal build up over the course of the day, and when I do have sex, I need more than one orgasm to feel sated. Its awesome!

Having mulitple orgasms is like a good workout with a sauna afterwards. You feel a little shaky, you sweat, and are purified. There is no more tension left in your body, and your mind is uncluttered. Some Buddhists liken enlightenment to orgasm, and after multi-orgasmic sex I always understand why.