The weather is California cliche: the sun is bright, the sky is a cloudless blue. The scent of California bay and eucalyptus waft by on a sea breeze. Children splash in the pool. Laughter bounces around the courtyard. From my chair on the balcony I try to extend my senses, to feel something, anything, but what I’m feeling now. Pathos. I am doing my best to be present with my body, to understand how this pathos feels, not just emotionally, but physically. Right now, pathos feels under-oxygenated. My breath is shorter, faster. It no longer fills my center. My muscles are tight. Twitchy. Restless. My shoulders ride higher, up near my ears. I feel it in my gut, too, the tightness. An ache has settled in my chest, my eyes. It is a long list. This is what anxiety and anguish feels like in the flesh. In my head, it…
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