Talking Dirty – Homemade erotic audio

July 7, 2010
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Silken On Sex showSilken on Sex #73:
Q: Dear Silkenvoice, my husband has to travel a lot for work, sometimes even out of the country, and I know he gets lonely–and horny. I know he charges porn and phone sex to his card and I’m mostly ok with it because I know he needs the release, and some of it he shares with me. Like your stuff. After listening to your stories I was thinking maybe I could record something naughty for him to listen to but I don’t know where to begin. Do you have any ideas? –Deena in FL.

A: Deena, first I’d like to acknowledge your reasonableness about your husband using porn and phone sex when he’s away from home. A lot of women tend to feel threatened by this, and use anger over the expense of such outlets to hide from their true feelings. So good for you.

Secondly, I think you’re onto something. It is actually what got me started doing erotic audios in the first place — I had a lover who traveled three time-zones away quite a lot. The time-difference made connecting on the phone rather difficult and he said he missed the sound of my voice, so I recorded some naughty messages for him to listen to on his iPod. This had a tremendous impact on our relationship — it really heightened the intimacy. He liked having me as a focus for his masturbation fantasies, and I got aroused knowing he was stroking off to the sound of my voice whispering into his ears.

Now, to answer your question about my ideas for where to begin. There are two things to consider. The first is what you want to say, and the second is, how you are going to save it.

Choosing what you want to say can be difficult for most people. There are three things you can do:  talk dirty, tell a fantasy, or record yourself masturbating.

Many women aren’t practiced at “dirty talk” as we c0uld be. A lot of what we conceive of as dirty talk we get from pornos, and a lot of it sounds really cheesy from the outsider’s viewpoint. However, in the moment, when passions are up and you’re humping like mad, what flows from your lips is appropriate, no matter how slutty it sounds. In fact, the sluttier the better. Guys love it.

When it comes to making this audio for your husband, if you’re too self-conscious about talking dirty, you could always talk about a fantasy you have, perhaps one you’ve never felt comfortable sharing in person, but feel emboldened about when recording it for him (or her,  for that matter). Or talk about a mutual fantasy: the two of you in a three-way, or tying him up and doing naughty things to him. If even that idea leaves you tongue-tied, consider reliving one of  your favorite encounters with him:  the blowjob in the car, or that day you hiked up into the middle of nowhere, stripped naked, and screwed like mad, for example. And lastly, most men love to hear the sounds women make when we’re touching ourselves. I get many, many requests from listeners to please do more recordings of me masturbating. The nice thing about this is you don’t have to say anything at all — all you have to do is moan. And sigh. And gasp ;)

Once you’ve decided on what you’re going to say, choosing how to record and save it is your next step.  If you’ve got a laptop computer, you’ve probably got a built-in mic, and it is easy enough to fire up GarageBand or Audacity, follow the prompts, and start recording. When you’re done, you can save the file, usually to an .aif which is easy to export to your iPod. But if you’re intimidated by that idea, there is something simpler. Most smart phones today have a built-in app for recording voice memos. All you have to do is push the icon, speak into the phone like you normally would for a phone call, record your voice message, and email it off.

What follows is a 3 minute guided masturbation message I recorded using my iPhone’s Voice Memo app. When I finished recording, I listened to it and then emailed it directly to the gentleman I had in mind when I was speaking it.  You will notice that the quality of the audio produced by the phone is very different from the quality of my podcast. This has everything to do with the quality of the microphone. For podcast recording I use a $300 condenser microphone in a space designed to keep ambient noise to a minimum. Phones have low-quality directional mics. So don’t be discouraged if your end-result isn’t crystal-clear. It only takes a couple of seconds for one’s hearing to adjust to filter-out the white noise in the background, so your intended audience won’t even notice it.

[3 minute example recording inserted here]

So there you have it. A nice sexy little bit of home-made erotic audio designed to give idle hands something to do :)

I hope this how-to gives you the help you needed. Feel free to contact me with any questions, or even share your results. You can send an email to info@silkenonsex.com or leave a voicemail message at 415.935.4102.

If you enjoyed hearing the Meet My Maker episodes I told in June you can download the entire story without the podcast information at www.SilkenOnSex.com for $5.
Or buy the Silken On Sex iPhone app for $2.99 and get Meet My Maker free!

This podcast is sponsored by AdamAnd Eve.com — enter “SILKEN” into the offer code field and save 50% on any item!
For longer, steamier, CD-quality erotic audio stories visit the shop at SilkenOnSex.com

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