Women

Cherry Blossom

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Cherry Blossom

This was published in Rachel Kramer Bussell’s Women in Lust anthology. This erotic story of lesbian love was inspired by a recent trip to Japan. *  *  * I bumped into her in my ryokan in Kyoto. I smelled her exotic scent just milliseconds before my sleep-fogged brain registered the ledge I was supposed to step over in order to leave my suite, too late, of course. I fell to my knees like a penitent worshiper, one hand clutching the hem of her kimono, the other pressing down onto her foot. “Gomen nasai. Daijoubu desu ka?” I stammered. I’m sorry. Are you alright? My boyfriend had taught me that phrase early on in the trip, after he tired of apologizing on my behalf to all the people I bumped into. And I bumped into a lot of people as I was constantly staring upwards in astonishment at the cherry blossoms…

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My Darling Whore

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My Darling Whore

A very, very special friend wrote this for me. It is deeply meaningful and quite, quite accurate. It is perhaps the most beautiful thing anyone has ever written to me. My Darling Whore Slut. A slut to the gray-green wilderness that hovers over her home, the misted mistress of the environment she loves so deeply, that covers her, disguises her, renders her safely anonymous and—at the same time—places her at the center of the universe, demanding her full attention with senses, camera, and pen, embracing her with the quiet inevitability of adiabatic currents that rise from river, creek, and marshlands, gentle powers that blend air and water, seamless, the water breathes the air, the air inhales the water. Slut. Whore. A whore to self-discovery, prostrating herself to the truth of where she comes from, selling her past to understanding, spreading herself open to redeem her future and celebrate the day…

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Summer Reads: The Bitch in the House & The Bastard on the Couch

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Summer Reads: The Bitch in the House & The Bastard on the Couch

I’ve been reading “The Bitch in the House” edited by Cathi Hanauer. The subtitle of the book is: 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage. The premise is women writing a response to the question “Why are women angry?” Cathy woke up one day and realized that she had everything she could possibly want: a house in the country, two children, a good husband, a great career…and despite all that, she was mad as hell. She talked to her women friends, who were also primarily writers, and they were all angry, too. So she asked them to write about their rage, and the book came about. Some of the essays I relate to, some of them I don’t. I mean, women writing about how they miss the boys their husbands once were, or how their children’s demands cut into their “me time” doesn’t really affect…

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Conquered With Pleasure

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Conquered With Pleasure

Silken on Sex #70: Sometimes a woman just wants to be bent over and taken hard. Sometimes a woman wants to be conquered, wants her lover to take from her what she normally gives quite freely. Sometimes a woman just wants her partner to go beyond words, beyond overt consent, and push her boundaries. And sometimes a man doesn’t want to be a considerate lover. Sometimes a man wants a hard, self-satisfying quickie. Sometimes a man wants a woman to do what he says and give him what he wants without argument — and when she doesn’t — well, sometimes he acts the conqueror and takes what he wants… after she’s gotten a good spanking. This podcast is about conquering, about the distinctions between submitting and being conquered, about the contest of wills between a strong-willed woman and her  equally strong-willed match. This podcast is hot, rough, and more than…

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Spice up your sex life: Talk to your partner

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Spice up your sex life: Talk to your partner

My friends Amy and Boris are having marital problems, mainly around their sex-life. Interestingly enough, Boris is the one who came to me about it, instead of Amy. When asked, he described a pattern of formulaic sex that had dwindled to a once-a-month frequency, at best. He said he’d tried talking to her, had even asked her what he could do to spice things up, and her response was “I shouldn’t have to tell you what I want.” Which blew my mind. Amy was playing the You should read my mind and if you can’t I’ll punish you until you’ve tried everything game that many women play — a game that one of my lovers played so well that I swore off women for years. So I invited Amy to meet me for coffee. We’ve known each other for well over a decade and she’s accustomed to my directness, so…

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Libidinous Celibacy

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Libidinous Celibacy

Silken on Sex #66: Celibacy has been in the news lately, and I don’t just mean the pious form of celibacy. I’m talking grown women and men choosing celibacy as a form of their sexual self-expression. Yes, that’s right: Celibacy is a form of sexual self-expression — it is possible to be celibate without being chaste. (Can you say masturbation boys and girls?) I am an advocate of the practice of libidinous celibacy. At first the juxtaposition of those two words would appear to be paradoxical, but I know from personal experience that such is not the case. A libidinous person may be someone who has lustful thoughts or is otherwise preoccupied with the drives of the libido…without necessarily acting upon them with a partner. Few adults can abstain from sexual intercourse (ie, be celibate) and not experience rising frustration at the sublimation of such a primitive and instinctual biological…

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Tips on achieving multiple orgasms

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Tips on achieving multiple orgasms

Q: “Can you please write something on achieving multiple orgasms??? I find that after oral, when I have an orgasm, it’s over. I am over-sensitive and ticklish. Tips please?” A: The medical establishment now recognizes that multiple orgasms are possible, and not just porn flick mythology. According to Barbara Bartlik, MD, at Weill Medical College, all women capable of achieving orgasms are capable of achieving multiple orgasms. That said, the ability to have multiple orgasms is learned — in much the same way we learn to get that first one. And once you’ve done the hard work of getting the first one, the others are easier. How do I know this? Well, I learned about multiple orgasms through the forced orgasm kink. I had a wonderfully sensual Dominant partner who tied me up and made me come over and over again, ignoring my begging and screaming for him to stop.…

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Silken on Sex #51: The Pretty Pussy

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Silken on Sex #51: The Pretty Pussy

In this episode, Silken recounts a conversation with a woman friend who asked her to take photos of her pussy so she could see what it looked like. The results of the photo session, and her friend’s pleasure at making her own pussy’s acquaintance, got Silken thinking about how complicated a woman’s relationship with her pussy really is: “Quite often, I think many women’s bisexual curiosity is less about desiring another woman, and more a camouflaged curiosity about themselves, about their own anatomy. Unlike men, we cannot just whip our sex organs out and admire them. We rely on braille and mirrors and craned necks, instead, none of which is a satisfactory, shall we say, definitive view. “ This essay was published in the Exotica section of Clean Sheets in Feb 2009.

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