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In this episode, Silken tells her lover that she wants to tie him to her bed when they get home. This spurs them to tease each other throughout the afternoon, and she finds herself so hot and bothered that she masturbates in the car on the drive home. (This is a re-release of episode #32 from July, 9, 2009)
Given the subject matter that I write about, I am continually reminded of how many men out there have submissive sexual tendencies and are looking for a dominant woman. Which is natural, I know. There are various statistics out there, supported by studies of everything from schoolyards and fraternities to dance clubs and tribal societies, which basically state that a very small percentage of humans are leaders, and the rest follow them. I suppose it would be fair to say that humans are pack/herd animals. But what does this have to do with submissive sexuality? People confuse power and sex all the time, probably because, from an evolutionary standpoint, those who are powerful are the ones who get sex. But in contemporary terms, powerful leaders are inspiring, charismatic. They have an energy that is infectious, that excites people to sign on with whatever the leader is turned on by, regardless…
I’ve been reading “The Bitch in the House” edited by Cathi Hanauer. The subtitle of the book is: 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage. The premise is women writing a response to the question “Why are women angry?” Cathy woke up one day and realized that she had everything she could possibly want: a house in the country, two children, a good husband, a great career…and despite all that, she was mad as hell. She talked to her women friends, who were also primarily writers, and they were all angry, too. So she asked them to write about their rage, and the book came about. Some of the essays I relate to, some of them I don’t. I mean, women writing about how they miss the boys their husbands once were, or how their children’s demands cut into their “me time” doesn’t really affect…
Silken on Sex #78: It is fair to say that I’m an enthusiastic masturbator and sex toy aficionado. My primary partner calls me his pervy dirty girl, and fortunately is not threatened by my self-pleasuring practices. He knows that my libido is off-the-charts and that it takes a herculean effort on anyone’s part (including my own) to keep me feeling satisfied for more than a few hours at a time. But he does try, and between his efforts and mine, we keep things very interesting. Which is where my chest full of sex toys comes in. I am grateful to be a woman, and grateful that so many people have put so much ingenuity and effort into accessorizing women’s pleasures. Toys to fulfill our every pleasure, fantasy, and sexual need line the shelves of thousands of adult stores all over the world. And fortunately for men, I’ve noticed that the…
Silken on Sex #74: Most of what I write and record is based on personal experiences. Deliciously intense erotic experiences. As I’m writing this now, I’m intoxicated. By wine and other things. Other things? You are probably asking yourself. Yes, other things. Like the fragrance of ‘us’ wafting up from between my thighs. I was puttering around in my vocal booth (for recording audios) when my lover surprised me there. I was on tip-tip toes, my arms spread wide above my head, when his hands closed around my wrists, pressing them down onto a shelf. He pressed himself against me, scraping his shadow along the back of my neck. I moaned. How could I not? There is something about that burning scrape that is so pleasurable that my skin pebbles and I gasp. And moan. And I ground myself back against him, arching my back, wriggling my hips and ass…
Silken on Sex #70: Sometimes a woman just wants to be bent over and taken hard. Sometimes a woman wants to be conquered, wants her lover to take from her what she normally gives quite freely. Sometimes a woman just wants her partner to go beyond words, beyond overt consent, and push her boundaries. And sometimes a man doesn’t want to be a considerate lover. Sometimes a man wants a hard, self-satisfying quickie. Sometimes a man wants a woman to do what he says and give him what he wants without argument — and when she doesn’t — well, sometimes he acts the conqueror and takes what he wants… after she’s gotten a good spanking. This podcast is about conquering, about the distinctions between submitting and being conquered, about the contest of wills between a strong-willed woman and her equally strong-willed match. This podcast is hot, rough, and more than…
I watched Good Will Hunting the other night and there is a scene in the movie in which Robin Williams is talking to Will about Will’s reluctance to date Minnie Driver’s character because he is afraid to learn more about her and find out she isn’t perfect afterall. The line Robin William’s character said stuck with me. It was something like “I’ve got news for you, sport. You’re not perfect. She’s not either. The question is, are you perfect together? That is what intimacy is all about.” It made me think about love/desire/intimacy and fear. It seems that it is one of the age-old truths about love, that while it does offer unique opportunities for union and the lifting of ego boundaries — at the same time, it faces us with our loved one’s ‘otherness’. That we desire this other, that we yearn for him or her, does not eliminate…
My friends Amy and Boris are having marital problems, mainly around their sex-life. Interestingly enough, Boris is the one who came to me about it, instead of Amy. When asked, he described a pattern of formulaic sex that had dwindled to a once-a-month frequency, at best. He said he’d tried talking to her, had even asked her what he could do to spice things up, and her response was “I shouldn’t have to tell you what I want.” Which blew my mind. Amy was playing the You should read my mind and if you can’t I’ll punish you until you’ve tried everything game that many women play — a game that one of my lovers played so well that I swore off women for years. So I invited Amy to meet me for coffee. We’ve known each other for well over a decade and she’s accustomed to my directness, so…
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