Conversations

Spice up your sex life: Talk to your partner

By
Spice up your sex life: Talk to your partner

My friends Amy and Boris are having marital problems, mainly around their sex-life. Interestingly enough, Boris is the one who came to me about it, instead of Amy. When asked, he described a pattern of formulaic sex that had dwindled to a once-a-month frequency, at best. He said he’d tried talking to her, had even asked her what he could do to spice things up, and her response was “I shouldn’t have to tell you what I want.” Which blew my mind. Amy was playing the You should read my mind and if you can’t I’ll punish you until you’ve tried everything game that many women play — a game that one of my lovers played so well that I swore off women for years. So I invited Amy to meet me for coffee. We’ve known each other for well over a decade and she’s accustomed to my directness, so…

Read more »

Cougar Woman – Younger Man

By
Cougar Woman – Younger Man

Silken on Sex #64: This episode of Silken on Sex is based on a recent conversation with a woman friend of mine. “You’re such a Cougar,” said my old high school-era friend after my partner, a man a decade younger than me, excused himself and left us to our wine-sipping on the patio. I was still tingling from the feel of his warm palms on my shoulders, and from the way his fingertips had brushed the skin of my collarbones when he’d bent to kiss my temple, so her comment didn’t fully register in my mind. “How do you do it?” she then asked, her upper body inclined toward me and an avid expression on her face. Mina is recently divorced after 20 years of marriage, and at 40 is finding herself struggling with a suddenly rampant libido. Her ex-husband Paul is a dozen years older than her, and she’d…

Read more »

Footprints

By
Footprints

We walked through sand stained black Some ship spilled darkness that transformed sepia brown to exotic inkiness I tried to pretend I was in Hawaii, or some other volcanic isle and when that failed I pondered the meaning of light for just a moment it being far too weighty a topic for an afternoon stroll so I turned to my companion and asked “If some catastrophe happened, and the shoeprints upon the sand were petrified, would those who uncovered them a million years hence know they were all made by the same species?”

Read more »

Sunday’s epiphanies

By
Sunday’s epiphanies

An online acquaintance contacted me for my perspective on something. We talked about what was going on with him and once we’d discussed his dilemma, he asked: “So life has been hectic for you this past week–you get it all resolved?” “Does one ever resolve life?” I responded. “Your question intrigues me. Is it possible for a person to resolve life if they isolate themselves from society and all influences?” “I think that is the wrong approach,” I answered. “What is the approach?” And the answer to his question pulled from somewhere deep inside me. I didn’t think about it. It was like something in me was waiting for that question to be asked. “One resolves the ambivalence of life by ceasing to attempt to impose expectations on the present in order to influence the future.” His next question showed that he was misunderstanding me. “So just exist? For me…

Read more »

Polyamory: Know Thyself First

By
Polyamory: Know Thyself First

Image via Wikipedia Earlier today the friend of a friend sent me an email: “I am currently working on reading the second edition of The Ethical Slut… was wondering if you had any ideas of other books I could read on poly that are any good?” Here is my response: Regarding polyamory and reading material — I’ve not read *any* books on it and very little in the way of online material. I come to polyamory by nurturing — my parents are poly and I lived communally until I was 10 or so. So I can’t really recommend any reading material from personal experience of it. I actually own The Ethical Slut but I’ve not read it. Why? I found myself resisting reading it and after thinking about it, decided that I didn’t want to influence my own innate understanding of it with someone else’s attempt to explain it or…

Read more »

Silken on Sex #38: Writing About Fucking

By
Silken on Sex #38: Writing About Fucking

In this episode, Silken announces the release of her Silkenvoice’s album of erotic vignettes on CDBaby.com and its upcoming distribution on iTunes and Amazon.com. She then mentions an email exchange between herself and another author, the subject matter being on writing about fucking, and what needs each author seeks to address in their own erotic writing.

Read more »

Silken on Sex #28: I Know

By
Silken on Sex #28: I Know

In this episode, Silken describes a conversation with one of her intimate friends, a friend who tells her that when he is with her he feels loved in a way he’s never felt before. What ensues is a discussion about the different ways we treat love, be it romantic, platonic, or filial, and the tendency people have to let past hurts get in the way of enjoying love right now. Theme music for this podcast: Melissa Ferrick’s song “Drive”.

Read more »

Blue Toes

By

“I’m going to California tomorrow,” I told him. I leaned back into his couch and put my bare feet up on the table. I smoothed my skirt across my thighs, enjoying the feel of the fabric. “What’s this?” he asked, leaning over to look at my feet. “Blue toes?” I grinned and lifted my leg, sliding my shin along his cheek until my toes were just inches from his face. “I had a pedicure today. Do you like?” He studied my toenails. I’d chosen a metallic blue nailpolish that went really well with several of the skirts I wear this time of year. The nail art on my big toes was done in delicate silver, black and white dots and curliques. “Very nice,” he said, taking my feet into his warm hands. “Mmmm,” I purred. I hadn’t realized they were chilled until he’d touched them. I wriggled around on the…

Read more »

Explore Your Sexuality

From my lips to your ears

Here is the Music Player. You need to installl flash player to show this cool thing!