Articles

Silken shares her thoughts on various subjects from sexuality and erotica to politics and travel destinations.

Cherry Blossom

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Cherry Blossom

This was published in Rachel Kramer Bussell’s Women in Lust anthology. This erotic story of lesbian love was inspired by a recent trip to Japan. *  *  * I bumped into her in my ryokan in Kyoto. I smelled her exotic scent just milliseconds before my sleep-fogged brain registered the ledge I was supposed to step over in order to leave my suite, too late, of course. I fell to my knees like a penitent worshiper, one hand clutching the hem of her kimono, the other pressing down onto her foot. “Gomen nasai. Daijoubu desu ka?” I stammered. I’m sorry. Are you alright? My boyfriend had taught me that phrase early on in the trip, after he tired of apologizing on my behalf to all the people I bumped into. And I bumped into a lot of people as I was constantly staring upwards in astonishment at the cherry blossoms…

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Authenticity in Porn equals Quality

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Authenticity in Porn equals Quality

When I watch a lot of the Big Name porn out there, I find myself wanting to yell at my screen: “Give me something to identify with!” I’ve found myself thinking that there has to be something better than the over-produced movies with the uber-perfect actors that have an utterly impersonal feel, and the really bad, poorly mic’d, poorly acted porn flicks. I usually prefer amateur porn, because at least I get to see something authentic: real people going at it for real. Authenticity is the key to that elusive “something” that most of us call quality erotic material. Authenticity opens the door to intimacy and connection — the two things people want most, I think. In a lot of ways porn is easier than erotica. People who pick porn want to get off watching other people having sex. Simple enough. But what happens when I want something a little…

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The sensual is spiritual is sexual

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The sensual is spiritual is sexual

There are important links between the spiritual and the sensual and the sexual. I have almost always used the sensual as the entrance to the spiritual: for there are ways that the sensual and the erotic experiences can be transcendent, just as spiritual experiences can be erotic. I know this: the Tibetan Buddhist model for the awakened mind is — orgasm. Ideally, the sexual is an expression of the sacred, it is an act of worship of the divine spark in my partner. There are those out there who remain unconvinced of the spiritual dimensions of sexual pleasure, who are in doubt that the heights of which I have spoken are actually possible. Indeed, most advocate a temperate, low-key “it feels good bodily function” status for sex — I know and understand this perspective because much of my own sexual expression has been a rational exercise in the mechanics of…

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Where in the world is Silkenvoice?

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Where in the world is Silkenvoice?

I’ve been getting emails from people asking why I haven’t been posting new content to my site and my podcast, hoping I’ve not left all this behind me and moved on. No worries! I haven’t forgotten my readers, my listeners, or my passion for telling naughty stories — I’ve just been side-tracked by life. This year I’ve buried my father’s brother and watched my youngest sister’s decline from cancer. It has been simultaneously difficult and rewarding, dealing with terminal illness, but more than anything, it is all-consuming. Most of my energy has been dedicated to helping my family (and myself) through this difficult time. On the good-news side of the spectrum, my short story “Internet Cafe Au Lay” was just published in Violet Blue’s Sweet Confessions: Erotic Fantasies for Couples anthology, which you can find on Amazon. Another story of mine “Cherry Blossom” has been accepted for publication in Rachel Kramer…

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Silken on Sex #83: Saturday Afternoon

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Silken on Sex #83: Saturday Afternoon

In this episode, Silken tells her lover that she wants to tie him to her bed when they get home. This spurs them to tease each other throughout the afternoon, and she finds herself so hot and bothered that she masturbates in the car on the drive home. (This is a re-release of episode #32 from July, 9, 2009)

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The Bully and the Bitch

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The Bully and the Bitch

Given the subject matter that I write about, I am continually reminded of how many men out there have submissive sexual tendencies and are looking for a dominant woman. Which is natural, I know. There are various statistics out there, supported by studies of everything from schoolyards and fraternities to dance clubs and tribal societies, which basically state that a very small percentage of humans are leaders, and the rest follow them. I suppose it would be fair to say that humans are pack/herd animals. But what does this have to do with submissive sexuality? People confuse power and sex all the time, probably because, from an evolutionary standpoint, those who are powerful are the ones who get sex. But in contemporary terms, powerful leaders are inspiring, charismatic. They have an energy that is infectious, that excites people to sign on with whatever the leader is turned on by, regardless…

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Q: Is my fantasy unhealthy?

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Q: Is my fantasy unhealthy?

I received an email from a listener today and I thought I’d share it because this gentleman isn’t as alone as he thinks and I see this as a great opportunity to address a topic that creates a lot of ambivalence and shame in people: The problem is I’ve become obsessed with the idea of ‘forced orgasm’ and rape and I dont know if I should hate myself for it.  I understand that such fantasies are acceptable in women because they are actually still in control so its not a breach of their consent.  But I wondered if it was ok for men to have these fantasies – given that from a male perspective, consent is imagined to be denied. Is it worse for men to have these fantasies than women? Should I try to focus on more healthy fantasies? My response to him was: This is a very controversial…

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Pathos, Eros and Aramis

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Pathos, Eros and Aramis

The weather is California cliche: the sun is bright, the sky is a cloudless blue. The scent of California bay and eucalyptus waft by on a sea breeze. Children splash in the pool. Laughter bounces around the courtyard. From my chair on the balcony I try to extend my senses, to feel something, anything, but what I’m feeling now. Pathos. I am doing my best to be present with my body, to understand how this pathos feels, not just emotionally, but physically. Right now, pathos feels under-oxygenated. My breath is shorter, faster. It no longer fills my center. My muscles are tight. Twitchy. Restless. My shoulders ride higher, up near my ears.  I feel it in my gut, too, the tightness. An ache has settled in my chest, my eyes. It is a long list. This is what anxiety and anguish feels like in the flesh. In my head, it…

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